Journal Entry: Sat Feb 27, 2010, 8:23 PM
Yea, I wont leave you guys. Dont worry. I'll just ignore the people that make me wanna leave.
If you really dont care anymore now that I wont actually be leaving, you can stop reading. If you wanna know whats going on, you could prolly try to figure it out through my ramblings here:
I wish I knew how to write a good essay. Then maybe I could apologize for things I didnt do.
It was just a prank really. I dont know whats wrong, really. They just ignore me for no reason.
You: No reason? None? Whatsoever?
Me: Well, as far as I know. I asked them and tell me Ima, and I quote: 'BLIND. AS. FUCK.' -laughs crazily and dryly-
You: Thats creepy.
Me: Yea, my brother just saw it and freaked out.
So yea. I feel like Ive been convicted of murder without going through a trial. I dont feel treated unfairly, I feel victimized. People tell me they're mad at me cause I acted like a jackass or something during the prank.
You: Were you?
Me: Ummm, I just thought it was stupid to actually be afraid of a retarded thing like Slender Man. And laughed at him and whatnot. You know, in character stuff. I WAS controlling the whole thing.
You: What would you do if it wasnt controlled by you?
Me: I'd prolly laugh at first like I did. Then if it continued, I'd find the person, knock their teeth out and then tell them to stop creeping out my friend.
And I really would. I swear I would. I wouldnt let a bad thing happen to them as much as I could. I've had a protective streak over them since I've known them. Dont they know that?
You: You ARE a distant person.
Me: I know. But I am the most loyal and caring person over my friends. I'd do anything for them.
You: You sure dont act like it.
Me: I have been complimented as a good actor in the past.
You: Cant you just tell them?
Me: I have problems with feelings.
You: Okay then.
This just all sucks. I hope you read this cause I hate being ignored. You know that too. I dunno why you feel that our friendship has to end over a silly little joke. I've gone through enough heartbreak in a short amount of time, think what losing my best friends gonna do?
You: Havent you lost them already?
Me: I am still clinging onto that tiny shred of hope that I didnt lose him.
You: And your best friends? You actually have some?
Me: Hardy har har. I have tons of friends. Few are close. See the 'problems with feelings' thing we previously went over.
You: But to say, 'hey, you're my best friend, dude'?
Me: I've told him once. Why do I need to tell him over and over? We're not lovers or boyfriend and girlfriend or anything. It should be a common sense thought by now.
Or isnt it...?
Listening to: Blues Traveler, they actually play good music.
Watching: The fireplace and its glowing fire of warmth.