[x]

When Optimism Dies, So Do IThe longer
that things seem
to go on
the less I expect
from anyone.

I guess even my optimism can die to realism.

I'm almost
scared
that that can happen.

I Still Climb Though ExhaustedI think too much into things.

I remember those psychology tests
from that website that I showed you.
The ones where I wouldn't let you
take them until I took them all,
remember?

Well, I remember the one that asked
about stairs and
how many steps there are to the top.
The number of steps you chose
revealed how many times you'd try for
your partner.

I always imagined a countless number.
I wonder how many you imagined.

Not that it matters.
It was a silly little test.
And I think too much into things.

DemolishedIt's like we're growing up.

Everything is demolished.

Where we met.

Where we lived.

Laughed.

Played.

Hugged.

Screamed.

Fought.

Angered.

Loved.

I'm not in a hurry to grow up.

But apparently everyone else is.

I like where our memories were.

Our everything was there.

And now it's gone.

With the click of a button.

Demolished.

I'm ready to try to loveWhat would you do?
If I screamed in your face?
Would you hate me?
Call me a disgrace?

What would you do?
If I lashed out in anger and fear?
Would you try to understand me?
Come close and draw me near?

What would you do?
If I yelled out of rage?
I HATE YOU!
Would you lock me in a cage?

What would you do?
If I just didn't listen?
Would you try to help me?
Is that your mission?

What would you do?
I really want to know
Is this the truth?
Or some kind of show?

IF you try to help me really
Then I'll try and trust you
And if you want to say you love me...
Then I'll try that too

ContradictoryThe tears won't come
But I want to cry

I don't want to live
But I don't want to die

And I can't tell you the truth
But I also can't lie

What does one do when surrounded by contradictions?

Circle of DeathNothing gets done anymore.

I feel like my life
keeps circling around.

Well, not just life.
More like my conversations
with you.

Even after
hours of
trying to figure out
how to fix our
broken relationship.

Nothing gets done anymore.

I feel like my life
keeps circling around.

Well, not just life.
More like my conversations
with you.

Even after
hours of
trying to figure out
how to fix our
broken relationship.

Nothing gets done anymore.

I feel like my life
keeps circling around.

Well, not just life.
More like my conversations
with you.

Even after
hours of
trying to figure out
how to fix our
broken relationship.

Changed and Still ChangingI used to look at the ground,
now I look at the sky.
And I don't shy away anymore,
instead I am open to all.
And many more things have
been changed because of you,
and I admit I've liked them
because I know now who I am.

And even now, I have to change.
But I don't think that'll be
much of a challenge because you're
worth changing for.
And if changing means I get to keep
you then I'll change everything.

But some things I can't change,
especially one.
And that's the distance between us.
Or at least, not right now.
But in the future, I'll change that too
and maybe then,
the changes'll stop and then we'll be
happy.

That's w

NumbNumb
Nothing never
Numb
Biting bitterly
Not really negative
Just rusty and
Numb
Running and raspy
Itchy and irritatingly
Numb
Brain bruised
Bothering badly
Leverage left me
Numb
I'm done
Too long to wait
Wanting water
Thirst thriving
Dirt driven
Numb
Humiliating and humble
Honestly horrified
But secretly secure
And angrily aggravatingly
Numb.

I Am The Elephant"The person whose shoulder you cry on is the person you're meant to be with."

Words ringing in my head.
Like the bells from church
that ring every summer morning
right when practice is ending.

I wonder about it.
Like the newest question
that philosophers contemplate.

I consider it.
Like a child
wondering what toy
to play with next.

Then let it go.
As easily as an
emotion in my heart.

Until it resurfaces.
Like the bubbles of a
drowning man.

Worry seeps in.

+Personal Playlist of my BrainMy mind has its
own playlist.

In it is hundreds of
songs that never stop
playing.

A tune is always apparent.
A chord is always used.
A scale is always ringing.

And it is always playing.
And if it were to ever stop
I would be worried that
my music is gone.

My iPod of life would be diminished.
For music is my life.

The music stopped today.

When Will They Notice?When will they notice my lies?
The smiles that don't reach my eyes
And frustrated sighs
That will lead to my demise.
With this knowledge I advise
That you ignore the problem that underlies
Those smiles that you buy
Because I'm better off

Alone.

RainStanding
Empty handed
One the street corner
The rain
pounding down
against my skin
Bruising my body
No umbrella to stop
the loneliness
from drenching my soul
Cars roll by
Their headlights so close...
And then they drive away
Leaving my hopes
fractured all over the road
The rain
Mixes with my tears
Someone..
Please..
Pull over
Open up your car door..
Let me in..

Fading...Am I still here?
Sometimes I'm all alone and I fear
That at some point I disappeared
And just haven't realized it yet

Am I gone?
Do I exist?
Is being dead the same as this?

With no one to acknowledge that I'm real
I slowly,surely start to feel
Like an inanimate object might feel

Please,someone
Tell me

Am I still here?

I'm DoneThere's no one I can trust anymore.

I have to push people away from me now.

I can't let any one get me.

It's time to live my own life.

I'll talk and laugh

I'll play and listen

But i won't let anyone get close to me.

Not anymore

Don't try to be friendly with me.

Don't try to care about me

Don't even worry about me

Because there's no use

I'm gunna end up ruining your life

No one needs any more problems

So don't talk to me because that's all I'll be to you

A problem.

I'm done with everything...

The Fourth Secret My next secret, is actually number 4, I'm not publishing all of them because some are just too private.
Secret # 4: I wish something bad would happen to me so that I won't have to end it myself.
I want to die. The only reason I'm still alive is because I don't want to hurt all of those that love me. Besides the fact that killing myself would give everyone too much of a reason to hate me.

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Fairy Tales:Something I used to believe in.

"What About Today?" You Ask"We can try again," Speaks Tomorrow.

What A Weird Submission for 69I had a great day today.
I relaxed,
had fun,
took notes,
smiled,
laugh,
played games,
and all much more!

Then I came home.

And then I realized I did what I swore to myself I would never do.

I'm becoming something that's not me.

Help.

SilenceDoesn't it hurt you too?

Thoughts of a Car Pool DriverI wonder how
insane
everyone would get
if the one they loved most
froze to death
in the same bed as them.

I also wonder who
would die
in the others arms:
You or the one you
loved most?

I even wonder if you
would even be
in each others arms
or if you were mad at
each other
and didn't hold each other.

My final thought:
What would the world do if they were angry at the person they loved most and they died.

How chaotic would it get?

68 in New York TimeDo not Disturb.
Gone.

Where: New York
Will be back: Later
If problems persist:

Call the ghostbusters? I dunno.

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Submitted: June 5, 2011
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Playing Pretend

by ~NarutoNinja44, Jun 5, 2011, 6:57:37 PM
Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

"Tell me the happiest memory from your childhood."

Childhood?
Oh dear.
I can't remember mine.

I wonder if it's a side-effect.
Or if I really am that forgetful.
Maybe I just lacked one.

I do remember pretending though.
Pretending to be a hero.
A villain.

I remember living in my world.
I remember playing with cartoon characters
and my own characters
and even with just the walls.

I remember thinking of new colors
sounds
tastes
feelings
voices
and music.

"Did you hear me?"

Oh yea.
The question.

"I remember playing pretend."

Playing Pretendby ~NarutoNinja44

Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

The idea sprung to me when I was texting a friend and I commented how I liked hypothetical situations because then I can play pretend.

Sooooo I decided to write this.

I really don't remember all that much from my childhood. Except 5th grade. That sticks out. And a few miscellaneous things. But they're just kinda random.

I wonder what a psychologist would say about this.

~~love 0 0~~

joy 1 1

~~wow 0 0~~

~~mad 0 0~~

~~sad 0 0~~

~~fear 0 0~~

~~neutral 0 0~~

~blackfire3 Aug 10, 2011 Hobbyist Writer

I like the freedom in the poem because it allows you to answer the question however you want, in your own time. It makes the reader want to know the answer more and, at the same time, want to answer the question for him/herself. I was sucked in from the second line: "Childhood?" Immediately, I could see this was going to be a hard question for the speaker to answer, so I paid closer attention.

I also liked the interruption of the outside speaker toward the end: "Did you hear me?" It reminds us that the question is still out there, which the speaker hasn't answered because this whole scenario is happening inside his/her head, and someone is still expecting a verbal answer.

~NarutoNinja44 Aug 11, 2011 Hobbyist

Thank you! I appreciate the feedback.

~blackfire3 Aug 11, 2011 Hobbyist Writer

Your very welcome

~moonlightstar8 Jun 15, 2011

This is really pretty

I really don't remember my childhood either (except for like, dramatic events)
I don't even remember my old family vacations >.<
I really liked the use of the quotes and thinking to yourself (basically the whole structure of the poem >.<)

~NarutoNinja44 Jun 15, 2011 Hobbyist

Thank you.

*DominusSingulae Jun 14, 2011

Remember hell... I still am

Every day I get up and go to work and pretend that I know what I'm doing and pretend to actually work.

~NarutoNinja44 Jun 15, 2011 Hobbyist

That sounds like a great way to live. Maybe I should try that.

*DominusSingulae Jun 15, 2011

It has it's ups and downs... My mistake was in pretending that I knew what I was doing when instead I should have pretended to be incompetent. Now I have to work because people think I know all about it and bring me the hard problems. If I had pretended to be incompetent instead they would have given me the easy stuff that I could whip out in five minutes and then spent the rest of the day surfing the web

~NarutoNinja44 Jun 15, 2011 Hobbyist

That would've been fun. I guess that's just life, you know. Live and learn and all that ~~fun~~ stuff.

!Amazerfulify Jun 6, 2011

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